A Letter to My Mother

Did you know? If felt like you knew. That last time I saw you, you cried. You NEVER cried before. And then you said, “I am going to miss them so much.”   Why did you say that? It haunts me.

And it tortures me that when I dropped you off at the ferry you asked me to ride across with you. Do you remember?

It was a glorious October day, we had watched a soccer game for a little while. It was one of those perfect fall days, warm sun and crisp air, the leaves orange on the trees. Do you remember? We watched the game and then we left so we could meet your ferry. We stopped at the house to collect your bags.   That is when you cried. You picked up your suitcase and turned around, I saw that you were crying, you smiled apologetically and said, “I am going to miss them so much.”

When I pulled up at the ferry, that is when you asked me to go across with you. That is when I said, “No.” I mean I said it much more whiny and excusey. I said I had papers to grade, or I wanted to get back to the game or some crap like that. I dropped you off and went home instead. I did not go to the game. I did not grade papers. I just went home and did nothing important, nothing that could not have waited 45 minutes for me to take you across on the ferry.

Did you know?

4 thoughts on “A Letter to My Mother

  1. What a sad story. I had a similar experience with my mother, though the shoe was on the other foot. I’d driven her and my father to the airport for their return flight home. When I asked if she’d like me to stay with them until they went through security, she ‘bravely’ said No, she would be just fine. I knew she wanted me to come with her, but she just couldn’t say it. Our relationship wasn’t easy. So I dropped her off and left. The next time I saw her she was in a hospital following a stroke, followed quickly by pneumonia and death. A bitter memory–though I’m grateful I had a few wonderful visits with her before she died.


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