There is a “let down” when a wedding is over, the thing that has consumed your every waking moment for months is done.  The venue is cleaned, the lights returned, family  gone. You find yourself suddenly alone and exhausted.  The worry that kept you up at night slips away, you spend the next two nights sleeping ten hours or more – sleeping HARD.  You wake up and move around the house in a fog, doing laundry and organizing things thrown into a suitcase in a hurry, not capable of much more than simple tasks.  Take the dog to the vet.  Finish that podcast that you put on hold, read a book, work on a puzzle.

You don’t realize how much of your time the wedding took.  Simple little DIY tasks like covering hangers in lace took days.  Weekends you and your husband spent scouring for driftwood, perfect pieces with a little curve, a twist or maybe a barnacle.  The piles of sawdust from turning them into candle holders, yes you will still be plagued by sawdust for months no matter how much you sweep the porch.  Then how to get those candle holders (from Ketchikan, it was important that they were from Ketchikan) to Cannon Beach?

There were the Long distance phone calls with Ashley, the venue coordinator, Sarah from the light rental place, Bridgette who kindly slipped your daughter in between two other customers for a bridal hairstyle, Lindsey the photographer and Robin from the bakery, The Cannon Beach Bakery that was from “Four generations of Danish Bakers” AND they made Kransekage AND it was the real deal. Hours spent on the internet researching u-pick lavender fields, phone calls and being assured that “Yes, the English Lavender will be in bloom, it has been a hot spring.”

Then there are the logistics.  Should we rent a bigger car…. all that stuff in Seattle and Tacoma?  How will you get that to Cannon Beach? What to do with everything when the wedding is over? How many hotel rooms for how many people? Who is arriving when, finding a time to celebrate not only the wedding, but Grace’s 22 birthday and Randy’s 50th as well. Other wedding logistics, rehearsal, decorating,  hanging 300 feet of cafe lights and even more papel picado.

You find yourself a little sad because you did not get to visit with people like you hoped.  People who made such an effort to come and be a part of this special day.  You did, of course, constantly scan the crowd to make sure those people were sitting with friends, were dancing, were laughing were eating and drinking, so you don’t feel too bad.  Just sad because, while you are sure they had a great time, you didn’t get to visit with them more than a minute or two.

You are back at home now, it is quiet and you close your eyes and see your daughter on her wedding day, and you think she was the most beautiful woman in the room.  She seemingly floats, her hand in his and they glide through the crowd greeting guests and she is making you so proud your heart just swells.  She is elegant, gracious, beautiful.  He is all smiles, handsome in his suit, his eyes on her.  His brothers love him, they are close. That, and the way he kisses his mother on the top of her head, assures you he is a good guy.

Now there is a pile of stuff on your counter, you are not sure what to do with everything, you want to ask them, but they are on their honeymoon.  You want to call them and find out if they are loving Turtle Bay, but you don’t bug them, because if you are tired, they must be exhausted and this is their time to relax and recoup and practice being married, and it really doesn’t matter about the guest book just yet.

So planning a wedding is a lot.  A LOT! But the simple fact is you love it.  You know you do, and the lesson -planning- teacher in you loves the shared google docs and spreadsheets you created to tackle all this stuff, and the “busy busy” feeling you got while doing them and the SATISFACTION of checking things off lists.  Simply glorious!